Indian taxi driver

Indian taxi driver


A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi at a
Papatoetoe Cab Rank. The Indian driver opened his
eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no
attempt to start the Cab."What's wrong with you Luv,
haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"

"I'll not be staring at you lady, I am telling you, that would
not be proper, where I am coming from..." "Well, if you're
not bloody staring at me Luvie, what are you doing then?"

"Well, I am looking and looking, and I am thinking and
thinking to myself, where is this lady keeping the money to
be paying me with?!"

The driver made a fare observation.

A father is with his daughter's friend and her parents and the daughter is talking to her friend and says
"My daddy draws buildings for his job"
To which the father laughs and replies
"Daddys job isnt that simple darling its requires alot of complex technicalities which i had to study for a long time to understand, like sometimes daddy has to colour in the buildings and put them on the fridge all by himself".

An Indian man on his death bed.

"Sanjita, my wife, are you here?"

"Yes, my husband."

"My son and daughter, are you here?"

"Yes, Papa."

"Then who's in the ******* shop?"

lol

No wonder...etc.

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. Donovan, how are ye these days?'
She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!'
The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Two sets of twins and six singles, ten in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful! How is yer loving hoosband doing?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer flippin' candle
















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hoosband ?

Off of Gwim's bedroom wall.

The one unzipping his fly (Far right) was looking at you in a seductive manner.

Woody?

Please God. Tell me that's not his name. That and Les McKeown (sp) are the only wwo I can remember.

I couldn't tell, the pic isn't big enough.

It is too.

I was expecting you to type 'He would if you let him'.

No wonder..etc..

I wouldn't be so crass, family show and all that...




I went to an Indian restaurant last night called 'Taste of the Raj'

The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.

See. He knew you were a Damned Coolie.

At the Indian restaurant last eve, just before the railway building request, the waiter said, 'Curry ok'?

'Oh, go on then', I said, 'One song then get back to waiting on tables'.

Paddy bursts into the Benefits office. I've been ringing 08001730 for two
bloody days. Why don't you answer the bloody phone?

Girl replies, those are our opening times you daft bugger.

Dustaf's Mrs.wife can be a right hurtful sod sometimes.
When she gave birth to a baby boy and they were both looking at him in his cot.
So Dustaf turned to the Mrs. with a cheeky grin on his face, and said, "he's quite big down there, isn't he?"
She said, "yeah, but at least he's got your eyes."

The swine.

No wonder...etc..

Gwim's pram had shutters on it. And his mam fed him with a catapult.

You're a siren, luring me to the rocks. Your words are like candy to me.